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Letting-Go

Sometimes internal talk takes a bad turn: Perhaps it says, “I’m all alone and it’s because there’s something wrong with me.” Making matters worse, destructive body sensations arise, maybe a trembling, shaky feeling in the body which we call anxiety or fear. And it’s mixed with the full-body heaviness that comes with deep sadness.”

That’s when you might come up with a famously bad life project: “I’ll fix myself, then people will like me, and I won’t be alone anymore.” You try and try to be (good, happy, interesting, smart, kind, etc.,) and then you try again. And when you fail, you try even harder. This project is an attack on the self; it makes you feel worse.

A meditation practice offers the equanimity you need to manage such attacks. With one-pointed awareness you watch your destructive thoughts and feelings, and see how they repeatedly arise, manifest and fade. One day you realize this involuntary process includes the fading or letting go of a destructive emotion. Ah ha! Your mind and body are automatically letting go all the time.

Don't clutch. Instead go with the flow. And be aware of how destructive emotions lose their sting! Now you're free to pursue spiritual and personal development.

Basic Goodness

We human beings, like all the beings on this earth, are basically good. Why? Because there is nothing right or wrong about life; life just is.
According to Chogyam Trungpa, basic goodness is like a sneeze. "When you sneeze there is no time to think about good or bad. The sneeze just is. The simple capacity to have your own personal experience is basic goodness. It does not have to be compared to basic badness."

To access the felt experience of basic goodness we sit in meditation, and slowly, as we let go of thoughts in the mind and feelings in the body, the "just is" feeling arises. Realizing our basic goodness is an important step toward skillfully managing self-blame, and that will be the focus of our January Meditation Morning.

We are fundamentally good. Why? Because we are Life, and Life is fundamentally good

We just are.

How comforting.

No Agenda

We come to our Meditation Mornings to sit. At best we sit as if we were rocks, each of us with our own center of gravity. We have no other agenda except to be aware.

It's a strange thing to do, to sit. People "relax" "waste time" or "hang out" but most never - not once in a life time - do they sit with awareness.

Sitting is a powerful act, even a rebellious act since it is an alternative to the frantic busyness in our culture.

And it takes great courage. "Stuff" comes up, be it physical discomfort, the confused mind, or deep loneliness. Our egos rebel and we become antsy, irritated. Then our minds scream GET UP.

Even so, we sit. Our sangha friends support us; we couldn't do it without them. And the Dharma tells us that generations of other meditators have let go of the same demons.

Suchness

If you could choose, where would you be right now? In the relative world? That's where we spend most of our lives. This world takes a myriad of forms including galaxies, ants, and human beings. Birth and death are as basic as pleasure and pain. In meditation we observe the relative inside us in our internal talk, in body sensations that come with emotions, and in our internal imagery. Living in the relative is an incredible trip - and very far from easy.

With an ever-so-subtle shift in focus it's possible, once you know how, to sense the absolute. You might, for instance, be looking at waves rolling toward the shore when, in a flash, you see those waves as part of a larger whole, the ocean. Or you might be looking at a clear blue sky and suddenly sense the immensity of the universe. A peek into the absolute often comes with awe - and the realization that simply being alive is more than enough.

Bringing that realization back to your daily activities you merge the absolute with the relative. That's the world of suchness.

Knowing Peace

Sometimes we human beings get caught in negative thoughts and that causes us much unhappiness. You might hear yourself say, "I can't do anything right." Or, with great anger, "How can he be so selfish?" You might even hear, "Why doesn't she understand that I'm right and she is wrong."

When we listen to these negative thoughts in meditation we observe that they can come in bursts of anger and streams of frustration. We observe that they can be directed outward toward others or inward toward the self.

Caught in illusion, many people assume that this negativity is their problem. And they assume they have to get rid of it to feel happy. Negativity isn't a thing can be owned. Instead it's an activity that comes and goes.

Developing clear awareness, we experience angry thoughts arise, do their dance and fade away; we watch disappointments arise, do their dance and fade away. At some point we realize there isn't any need to add to these thoughts. In fact we don't need to do anything - except to listen matter-of-factly, with equanimity. And then we know peace.

Know Your Demons

We all have our demons. Let's imagine yours takes the form of an unhappy marriage. Buddhist psychology teaches that this demon lives inside you even though it appears to exist outside - in your partner.

To meet your unhappy-marriage demon sit in meditation and place your awareness on the part of the body where you have sensations that come with emotions. If you're not sure where that is, focus on the face, the neck, and the front of the torso. That's where these body sensations tend to arise, although not always.

Now bring an unhappy marital moment to mind. Perhaps you sense tightness in the neck and shoulders, and for you that indicates anger. Focus in again and you discover a feeling of heaviness in the whole body and a teary feeling around your eyes. It's clear that your demon is both angry and sad. Listen to your internal talk to hear what your demon is saying that is angry or sad.

One day you decide to offer the demon a cup of sweet tea and it works! Now the demon is less absorbing and you have the oomph to find other ways to live in your marriage.