Sometimes internal talk takes a bad turn: Perhaps it says, “I’m all alone and it’s because there’s something wrong with me.” Making matters worse, destructive body sensations arise, maybe a trembling, shaky feeling in the body which we call anxiety or fear. And it’s mixed with the full-body heaviness that comes with deep sadness.”
That’s when you might come up with a famously bad life project: “I’ll fix myself, then people will like me, and I won’t be alone anymore.” You try and try to be (good, happy, interesting, smart, kind, etc.,) and then you try again. And when you fail, you try even harder. This project is an attack on the self; it makes you feel worse.
A meditation practice offers the equanimity you need to manage such attacks. With one-pointed awareness you watch your destructive thoughts and feelings, and see how they repeatedly arise, manifest and fade. One day you realize this involuntary process includes the fading or letting go of a destructive emotion. Ah ha! Your mind and body are automatically letting go all the time.
Don't clutch. Instead go with the flow. And be aware of how destructive emotions lose their sting! Now you're free to pursue spiritual and personal development.
